14/3/2022 The day of Counselling session

 I actually still cut myself on the wrist. crying everyday even in my room is like a routine these days. i know I have counselling session but my mind felt so numb. I have no idea to talk to the counselor. I went to KKKB with Sarah, Nurin and Mija as the driver hehe. the session took me about 30 minutes +. He taught me how to handle my emotions and practice deep breathing so that I won't feel my chest hurt whenever I am having the episode of crying. idk myself actually. After I left, I was thinking. whether should or not I go for the next counselling session? I said I wanna get better to the counselor but I know deep inside me, I don't want to. It is just me being me. crying, depressing. I live with that feeling for such a long time. It is like a half of me. That's why sometimes I think it is better for me to stay this way.